When did this happen? Oh yeah, that's right. Crazy ass sleep patterns are my thing! Not usually like this though. I will apologize in advance, as I am not responsible for what this becomes! Sittin here in the dark, listenin to classic country music, and burnin a bowl. It's OK, I'm allowed medically.... Not that I care if they say yes or no, but thought I would make that clear for those that don't understand Medical Marijuana. If you fall into that category, check out www.smokealilsmoke.blogspot.com Everything is there. You can even check the different references listed and Thousands more.
I guess I could take you through the events of my birthday week. Yes week, having divorced parents, birthdays are repeated for each parent to get theirs in. LOL. Those of you who "know" me, know I went out the night before and celebrated while I was at pool league, the pictures are on twitpic.com and face book..... Thanks Kimmy, I love you girl!!!
I know that in other blogs, I have explained my past drug and alcohol addictions, and the various crazy ass medical conditions I have. This is why drinking is such a rare occasion for me these days. But just like Toby sings "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was!" I made a point of proving that to ME!
I know how easy it would be for me to climb into a bottle of whiskey and just stay there forever, that still scares me. It took a long time to climb out and maintain. However, I believe that once a person reaches a certain point, they have to let loose from time to time. And boy did I!!!
The bar I go to when I feel like having drinks, is one I have hung out in for more years than I should have by now:) I was a very convincing 16 yr old. I figured out that if you are already buzzed and maintaining when you ordered your first drink, the odds of being carded dropped a great deal....LOL... of course, that was almost 20 years ago now. They weren't as interested in I.D.'s back then...
I have learned a few things. Like, never drive to town, it's too easy to drive back home when you get drunk enough to be bullet proof and have invisibility powers. I am one of the few that never had an accident or got caught driving while trashed. I say trashed, because, that is what it is. I don't just get drunk, I get obliviated! My friends enjoy it. I have a good sense of humor, and it gets better with each drink.. :p
I also learned that if I try the "hair of the dog" cure, it just leads to a two day, three day, four day week drunk. Not a place I can afford to go.
Tequila is NOT my friend.
And although it's called Dr. McGuillacudy, doesn't mean it's good for you. Sure goes down easy chilled beside a double jack n coke though.
I also found out, this time, that my mother has the ability to buy me a drink on my birthday over the phone ;p Between the two of us we know 60 years worth of locals in the area...
Chocolate milk is an excellent cure for a hangover, bacon and eggs~not so much. I learned the chocolate milk thing from my dad. It works for beer or whiskey hangovers.
I was pretty pickled when I got home 4 hours, 6 double Jack n Cokes, and 4 McGuillacudy's (menthol mint schnapps). I guess I threw the door open and hollered "Hey BABY! Mama's Home!" Allen found it very amusing. He helped me with my coat and shoes, then grabbed a bucket, my cigarettes, and a glass of pop. He told me to stay on the couch, he was goin to bed. He said, "I love you, don't burn the house down, I'm goin to bed" LOL.
I passed out, but only for a couple hours, I was wide awake at 4 am! Still drunk and now giggly. Sittin here in the dark with myself, just laughing thinking of the evenings events. There are many more pictures than those that were posted, but I am seeing some I didn't know existed on face book over the last few days. Damn Cell Phones!
I remained drunk for most of the early part of Thursday, started getting a hang over around 11 am, then, there it was. Ever since I quit drinking regularly, I started having these obnoxious hangovers! If I went on a three day drunk, I was fine, until day 4. Then, it was three or four days recovery.
There was a time when I could drink a fifth of Jack Daniels on ice and still function. Those days are so long gone. Man, I was a party hound. I always had fun, if I was at a party and shit started going rough, I just stayed back and watched. If I happened to be involved, I just hoped for the best and gave it my all. It didn't take long for people to leave me alone. Bonus. No fighting because I wigged out a couple times, and people just decided they liked me better happy.
My friend that took me out this time, she's a doll. She did way more than necessary. She drove me, bought several drinks, laughed, and kept an eye on me. There was a slight possibility of complications, due to one particular person in my bar that night. Kim and Nick did a hell of a job running interferrence :) Poor Nick, probably felt like a piece of meat....lol.... Eye Candy at the very least, he is @frieman1999 she is @kimberlysanbo I would advise all of my followers and readers follow these two.
I take it as a compliment that people want me to come out and party with them, but I know it's dangerous for me. I had enough fun, that I will have to wait at least six months or better to have a drink again. See, that's the thing about a true alcoholic. I am recovered to a point that I don't NEED alcohol, until I start DRINKING alcohol. Then, good times flash in my head, the whiskey goes down easy, and staying drunk is far easier than being sober.
As a bipolar manic depressive patient, alcohol is even more dangerous. My brain already lacks certain "keep it sain" chemicals, and alcohol just helps cover crazy! It also depletes the already low chemicals in my brain.
I know that there is someone reading this, scratching their heads, and wondering, "then why did you do it?"
Well, first of all, I wanted to! Every now and then, I feel the need to prove that I am still in control of the start and stop of this alcohol demon I have known for 2/3 of my life. Second, I've been thinking waaaay to much, alcohol helps you have a temporary amnesia for a few hours, I needed that. Finally, I have friends that have heard stories about "how much fun Billie is at the bar" and I have been telling them for a while that we would go out and do it up. What better time than my birthday.
There is a problem with this, the amnesia was so sweet. I got to forget about my bills, my pain for the loss of my dad, which still feels like a freshly salted wound. And, of course, the everyday pressure of winter living in a small community. It's very stressful here right now. Mainly money, which is a way of life in Michigan winter for me. The upcoming date of my dad's birth, and then a couple months later, the second anniversary of his death. That's the biggest one. It always leads back to dad. Maybe I am still processing everything that occurred in those two short months, or maybe it will always be a main part of my mind.
I have a friend whose husband, since high school, has been going to the Cancer Treatment Center of America for over a year. Yesterday, I received a message that the doctors have told them it's over. There is nothing more to be done but wait. Maybe two weeks, maybe a month. He's 40. I wonder, maybe these things are what are keeping me up nights. It's different to read than it is to think. I do not have the ability to turn my head off. I don't sleep completely, my brain is "awake" to a higher level than others when sleeping. It's like half sleep, so I never stop thinking about what is going on or has happened around me.
OK,..... this was supposed to be funny!
I went to my mom's for cake Saturday. My son gave me an amethyst bracelet, mom gave me a book for study alongside of my bible, and we had Cherry chip cake w cream cheese frosting. My nephew informed me that he wants to have a baby when he's "firty" (thirty) and he figures Nana is gonna be the mom. He's five, but autistic, and as far as he's concerned, she's every one's mom....LOL... He hung out with me a lot, instead of hanging with the kids. He's my little buddy. Told his mom he's tired of his sister and he's moving in with "Aunt Biwwee"... I'd keep him. Sis won't let me, says he's the only nice one in the house! I know this to be true. My niece, bless her heart, is hell on wheels, and she's only 10!!! Drama Queen doesn't even begin to describe it.... That's a story for another day. Love and Peace to All. Good Night
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