Disabled~Hobby Income

It's no secret to those of you that have read my blogs, that I am disabled. I am still getting used to it myself. I used to fish, hunt mushrooms, roller skate, walk miles just for the hell of it, swim for hours, camp, canoe, tube the rivers, climb the sand dunes and the skyline walk at the state park.... All kinds of stuff. In the last few years, I have stopped many of those activities. I can't kneel on my knees to play in the garden because of the huge psoriasis patches on my knees. I can't climb anything that is not level because of the arthritis in my feet caused by the psoriasis. I am a rare person. Only about 5 percent of Psoriasis patients develop the Psoriatic Arthritis that can accompany the already irritating auto immune disorder. Psoriasis is much more than a skin disorder.
Let's examine it just a little. First of all, Psoriasis IS NOT contagious. This is the most frequent question that people ask me. I am no longer bothered by questions or most comments.
 On occasion, some idiot will say something really stupid on a bad day, and I'll return a snide remark, but for the most part, it doesn't bother me. I have been living with this disease my entire life.
That is something else that makes my Psoriasis different. In many cases, symptoms do not show until mid 20's to mid 30's, I have had this since I was born.
There are thousands of forms of Psoriasis. I have what they call Plaque Psoriasis. The plaque is unshed skin cells that accumulate on various parts of my body. If you imagine a cut on your hand. Your body sends a message to your brain to cover that cut. It does this to protect you from infection. My body thinks I have a cut and produces skin cells in the affected area at a rate of ten thousand times faster than "normal" skin cells.
It itches, it burns, it bleeds, and it is rather unattractive. The form I have is one of the more common forms. Until the last four or five years, I still had a perfect complexion. Now, I am getting red lines on my face, and I have Psoriasis patches in the corners of my eyes, and around my nose. My scalp is, and has been covered almost completely for as long as I can remember. I have patches on both elbows, and various patches on each leg. If I do get cut, I have a 90 percent chance of starting a new patch.
I have had to overcome major fear about what people think of my appearance, although, I have known other people that have it worse than me.
I had learned to live with the skin problem, although, I am always looking at the new ideas for medicating the problem. I was on steroid cream for over 15 years, until they decided that a person shouldn't use those creams for extended periods of time. It didn't really do anything except make the problem worse after a while anyway. It's almost like the plaque has a mind of it's own. It definitely built up an immunity to the steroids.
I have tried every single suggestion I have ever heard. Apart from traveling to the red sea and letting fish eat it off of me. Not sure I could go through with that one. I also can not use any of the drugs approved by the FDA. See, they are all immune system inhibitors and therefore increase a person's risk for cancer, and other illnesses. Also, none of the approved drugs are to be used if a person has an open sore or wound. I Always have a scratch that is bleeding somewhere. On top of that, my family seems to be dying of cancer, so I don't need to increase my chances of getting it, I am already at a high risk level. Not a pair of dice I care to roll.
I have taken many oatmeal bathes, which actually sooth it. As well as dead sea salt, unscented bath oils, I have even attempted to "sand" it off with a pedi egg. That sucked. It worked, but I was so raw for the next three days, that, I will NEVER try that again. That's something else about the plaque. If I manage to soften the plaque and get back to bare skin, it's like a burn. It's sensitive and tender to the touch and even to movement. With all of that said, the skin part isn't what bothers me. It's the arthritis part.
I am almost 35, but I move like I'm a badly aging 70 year old. It started in my feet. First the right foot. I didn't pay too much attention to it. I figured it was just normal aging due to the type of work I did. I worked in factories for almost 12 years. Before that, I had waited tables when I was 13, until I was old enough to tend bar. I used to walk 2 miles to work, spend a ten hour day on an assembly line, walk 3 miles to town and shoot pool for hours. Never bothered me at all.
I used to love walking the 10 miles from home to go to the beach in the summer. And once I got there, I would walk all over the beach for hours. In and out of the water, carrying a pack on my back with a towel, radio, snack, drinks, and some sort of inflatable for lounging in the water. I loved it. I was in excellent shape too! I could blow up a raft even though I smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. I think all of the walking kind of counter acted the effects of smoking on my lungs?!
I have been steadily deteriorating for the last five years. A bone scan showed that I have arthritis in absolutely every joint in my body. My toes are beginning to deform, most of them don't even touch the ground. Naturally, when part of your body hurts, you change the way you move to compensate. So after a while, I started having trouble with my hips. I am forever throwing my body out of alignment because of the way I walk. In the winter, I have to wear a knee brace on my right leg because I can't trust my knee not to bend backwards any longer. Winter truly is hell on me. I only sleep a few hours at a time. I have to lay down for a few hours, then, my back wakes me up and I have to sleep in a broke ass recliner for a few hours, then back to the bed.
People don't understand what this has done. My hands look as if they are swollen, when, in reality, the bones at the base of my fingers are thickening. Psoriatic arthritis is similar to Rheumatoid Arthritis, but in reverse. With Rheumatoid Arthritis, the tips of your bones thicken and your joints swell, with Psoriatic Arthritis, the base of your bones thicken, while the ends of the bones lose mass and all of your joints swell. Pretty much, with my medical history, all I can do is increase calcium and vitamin D and try to stay active. I can't move without a pain pill in my system, though I am very careful and stretch the use as far as I can. I don't enjoy passing out or drooling on myself, I just want to be able to move pain free.
The Psoriasis isn't the only reason I am disabled.
Things went down hill fast after a terrible double ear infection in both sides of my head right after my 30th birthday. I was in and out of the emergency room three times, but my insurance didn't cover the treatment I needed. I needed to be admitted to the hospital where I could receive intravenous antibiotics. I have Psoriasis Plaque in my ear canals covering the infection to the point that ear drops are not effective. I was sick for over 3 weeks.
When I was over the ear trouble, I started having some sleep problems. I thought I had insomnia. I was tired all the time. Even if I slept 10 hours, I was exhausted. I could hear everything going on around me while I was sleeping. I wasn't even sure I was sleeping. First, we did the whole sleep apnea tests. I didn't have apnea, but for some reason I didn't have the amount of oxygen I should in my sleep time. The next step was a three part sleep study. I'll spare the details. Basically, you sleep wired to a computer that tracks your sleep levels and patterns. Then, you have a different day where you nap for a few minutes, get up and stay up, then nap for a bit.... like 8 times. The result.... Narcolepsy. I had a second set of tests to be sure the results were correct. They were. These things, added to the fact that I have bi-polar manic depression, have deemed me a liability to any company I apply at. I can no longer drive a fork lift, or fabricate metal, or weld, or carry dinner on a plate to a table of two. Not to mention, the way that insurance and unemployment are set up, no one will hire me anyway.
I do what I can now. Anything I can think of to make money. Fortunately, I worked and paid enough taxes and stuff that I had well over half of my social security points paid before all of this happened. However, I don't even know how long disability will be available to me. I finished college in 2003, just to be out of work by 2005. That's a little unnerving.
However, I create hand made things and occasionally make a little money doing so. I even claim what I make. I do not believe in hiding any income, I would prefer to be an active member of society. I am angered at my situation, because I would have preferred to continue to work. I worked for a company where I had opportunities. I could have become a boss or better. Now, I am pretty much stuck at home. Limited income, and a bunch of hobby ideas. Now, I am reaching out with a fairly new Avon business, fingers crossed! And I am still working on my wares for local craft fairs. I have even been entertaining the idea of a website for my hand made things. As well as an online cup cake bakery service. My father told me that if you try hard enough, there is always a way to make money and support your family. I believe that. I may not make enough to get myself off of disability, but maybe enough to take a little better care of my son..... My thoughts for this evening..... good night all.